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Reinvention Fear Antidote (pt. 1): Fear Inventory

November 17, 2011 Leave a Comment
fear 300x230 Reinvention Fear Antidote (pt. 1): Fear Inventory

HELP ME!!!

The hardest thing to manage during reinvention time is our fear.  And to make it worst, we have SO many fears screaming in our head constantly, we can’t think straight.

What to do?

Step 1: Do your fear inventory.  This is recommended once a day (the alternative is taking lots of drugs–this is much cheaper and more effective) (BTW, I learned of this tool from www.onetaste.us  I thank them everyday for this gift.)

Step 2: send this to your coach to be witnessed and released.

Step 3.  Do your Alpha Breathing. (I will write a new post for that)

Instructions for Fear Inventory:
1. Find a private place to sit for 30 minutes.
2. Pull up a blank piece of paper or a fresh doc on your computer.
3. Take a minute to reflect on a person, issue or experience that has been triggering or nagging you recently. This is the resentment you will start with – a resentment being a though that is “re-sent” again and again.
4. Write your inventory according to the format below
5. Meditate for 15 minutes
6. Call one of your group leaders and read your inventory to them
7. Tear up your inventory and throw it away, or delete the doc.
8. Repeat as needed, at least daily!

Fear Inventory Structure

“God/Buddha/Guides/Ancestors/Angels/spirit/etc…*, I am resentful (or scared or fearful) at ___________ (person, institution, idea, experience, situation), because:

i have fear that ______________________________

i have fear that ______________________________

i have fear that ______________________________ etc. (this can go on for pages)

 

At the end of your inventory, write this prayer:

God, I ask you to remove these fears. I pray only for knowledge of your will for us and your power to carry that out for _______________________ (the names of the people, things etc that showed up in your resentments).”

 

Example…

 

God, I am fearful and resentful right now, because:

I am so scared that I wont make it.
I have fear that I am failing
I have fear that I don’t have the confidence necessary to do any job
I have fear that I will be revealed as not good enough

I have beliefs that I am not good enough, that I suck, I will never find my way out of this mess.

I have doubts that I don’t know how to make money, or attract the right people, and that I am forever doomed to be alone.

etc.
God*, I ask you to remove these fears. I pray only for knowledge of your will for us and your power to carry that out for me and calm my fears.

I am willing to surrender u my beliefs that I suck, that I am not good enough, and will forever be alone.

*If you’re not comfortable with using the word “God”, substitute it for your higher power, or any force more powerful than you. Spirit, Universe, Death… whatever works!

Filed Under Mai's daily diary, Reinvention

Some Days Reinvention Process is Like Cleaning the Toilet Bowl!

November 1, 2011 Leave a Comment

Cleaning Toilet 224x300 Some Days Reinvention Process is Like Cleaning the Toilet Bowl! Reinvention Month 9, Day 270: Ugh! I feel like the title and this picture say it all. I was very sharp and annoyed today. I don’t want to reinvent anymore, I don’t want to hear another whine or reason why people can leap and commit to their new direction, I am tired of waking up at 3am worrying if my new direction will make me money. Then I dragged myself to the bathroom and realized that the toilet had to be cleaned. YUCK!

Cleaning the toilet bowl is so unpleasant. No one ever wants to do it. And I only get to it when it had to be cleaned. But I also know better, if I wait too long, it will be much worst. So get to it before it gets to me.

Reinvention is so unpleasant. No one ever wants to do it. And we only get to it when we really really have to. Unlike how we are with cleaning toilet, Most of us don’t know better. We all wait too long. Things get much worst before we are force to do it. Then we have to suffer all sorts of consequences, like draining our bank account and lifetime savings because we hung on too long, staying in bad relationships until we are dead, numb, and bitter, taking on jobs that hurt our soul then we wonder why we are so disgusted with ourselves.

Yikes! Let’s go clean our toilet already. It actually doesn’t take that much time to clean. A couple of swoosh and we are done.

Filed Under Mai's daily diary

Today’s a New Day: I SMILE, essential skill for Reinvention

September 14, 2011 Leave a Comment

cat smile 300x206 Todays a New Day: I SMILE, essential skill for ReinventionThis I SMILE video made me realize that SMILE is an ESSENTIAL skill that we must have, cultivate, and practice as we slog our way through the dark nights/days of reinvention.

My friend Marquita Chamblee is going through her reinvention process.  She posted this today on her blog “Walking In Your Power”.  Such a fun and uplifting video called I SMILE.    You see, our ability to smile at everything is ONE of the lessons that we, successful people have to learn.  It’s the ability to experience all ups and downs of life and not get sucked into “suffering”, it’s the UNATTACHMENT to our ego that we read about, it’s the doorway to “let go, let god (or let universe/source/etc…)” to TRUST that things are not falling apart, but they are actually going exquisitely according to plan.  Furthermore, our SMILE is our invitation for the world to come and hang with us.  And when we are in the midst of reinvention it can get really lonely and scary.  We need playmates to help us from not doing silly things like throwing in the towel, or worst, settling back into a state that is less suitable for us, just because we are scared (CLINGING & SUFFERING).

Et Voila!  I present to you I SMILE by Kirk Franklin. Practice it, empower it, surrender to it! Your reinvention process will go smoother, quicker, and more joyous if you do. I promise.

 

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With clinging & suffering, I smile, reinvention skill, trust, unattachment, walking in your power

Do I have ADD? or Am I Just Born This Way?

September 13, 2011 Leave a Comment

multitasking queen 300x210 Do I have ADD? or Am I Just Born This Way?Reinvention Day 44: I have this voracious appetite for life and for people that gets triggered even BIGGER when I travel. There is so much to do, so many connections to make, so much to love, create, savor, take in, regenerate it’s thrilling. And with jet lag, I can’t sleep when I am supposed to sleep and coaching when I am awake, it’s like I can be twice as productive. So far in the last 3 days, I have: coached 8 people, written a speech around reinvention, handled business at home, co-created an event for San Francisco, researched for my upcoming radio show about sexuality, met new friends, connected with old ones in Singapore, created a new FB group and called together cool corporate coaches in Asia to play with each other, blogged, swam, meditated, contemplated about quantum leaping and physics, caught up on news in Asia…Phew and the week is not half over yet. I wish there were at least 3 of me: the me who lives and grows business & community in Asia, the me who champions sexuality and spiritual growth in America, and the mom/partner/homebody me. Maybe there are at least these three parts of me, and they are living simultaneously. See! there I go to the quantum physic land again.

Do I have ADD? or Am I just built this way?

I used to think I have what I have heard people referred to as adult ADD. It seems to imply I can’t concentrate on anything. But that’s not fully true. I can! AND I can concentrate on SEVERAL big things at the same time. There is a way that I can get really expansive, focused, completely TURNED ON and engaged, that I feel very ninja like (where I can fight 5 opponents at the same time and can still see that arrow shot from far away aiming at me.) My energy explodes and as I allow it to expand, instead of dissipating, I have more to give.

Recently my friend/colleague Tia Sparkles shared with me the book “Refusing to Choose” by Barbara Sher. She talks about people like me. She calls us “Scanners” People who have this unique capability to manage, champion, and handle more than one thing at a time. It’s like the freedom ticket to be ME!!! “Allelujah! I was born this way” as Lady Gaga so clearly stated. So between Lady Gaga and Barbara Sher, I am freed to succeed and fail as only I can do/be. Somehow it feels like I have in my hand my throbbing heart and a noose! (freedom to live, love, and create the way I want to, and noose to hang myself as I allow myself to go fully and boldly into all of me). I do wonder if that last statement is true? Is it really a noose or something else? The trick is to not make up story to scare ourselves out of being ourselves isn’t it?

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With barbara sher, lada gaga, multitasking, reinvention, sexuality, tia sparkles, turned on

Road Warrior

September 10, 2011 Leave a Comment

Business Travel Car 300x86 Road WarriorReinvention Day 41: Heading out to Singapore for a week of coaching.  Had forgotten what this road warrior life was like.  Feeling a bit strange with it.  This is the ending of this gig.  It was such an awesome gig for the last 3 years.  A crucial part of the reinvention process is ending well.  I have loved every single one of those clients!!

And then there is a beginning: I was invited to speak for the Thinking Women group in Singapore, for both lunch and dinner, because the topic is so popular…and the topic is? “How Do Successful People Reinvent Themselves for their Biggest Turned On Self?”  Fun!!! The Universe keeps guiding me.  I surrender to the fun and mystery.

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With coaching, reinvention, singapore, speech, The Universe

No More Cheating & Lying!

September 9, 2011 4 Comments

see no evil hear no evil 300x143 No More Cheating & Lying!Reinvention Day 40: today I woke up realizing that the Universe has given me MANY opportunities to feel the abundance and prosperity from her.  YET, to almost everyone of these opportunities, I have chosen to see and react from a LACK place.  It’s amazing how I can spin it in my head to tell myself that I still don’t have enough.  Et Voila, I dedicate my effort and thoughts today and the days forward to stop this pattern and simply feel the abundance and prosperity that I truly have.

That means NO MORE:

-  whining that I don’t have enough

-  “Yea but, you don’t understand, it’s good today, but tomorrow I wont have enough, therefore I have to….”

-  Cheating and lying: walking away knowing that the clerk has undercharged me.  My recent story has me paused in my track:

I just drove away from a 3 day silent meditation retreat.  It was 7am.  I decided to stop by their little tiny independently owned bookstore, to buy the recording of the teachers’ teaching.  I picked up some other books and some post cards too.  The owner was one of those hippie looking, eye shining from too much meditation and green food, easy and peaceful spirit guy.  He was so thrilled that I wanted to learn more, he got really busy telling all the cool stuff about Buddhism and meditation.  I was anxious to get back to life and a radio show appointment that was coming up.  When he rang me up, he got everything but the two CD’s, which totaled to about $10.  The bill came to $56 (without those CD’s).  I stood there and wondered if that was true, pondered for a tiny second if I should inquire about the completion of his tally.  But my FEAR of NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY gripped me.  It was so relieved that I didn’t have to pay this extra $10.  As if that is going to save me from some great poverty cycle.  So I walked away quickly with my steal.

I felt AWEFUL.  My spirit felt dirty and chalked up with cheating and lying.  All the hard work of sitting and cleaning out my thoughts for 3 full days, completely ruined by this one action.

I justified that I didn’t have enough time to deal with going back to pay, etc…  But I knew it.  My decision to cheat was directly a result of my belief that I don’t have enough.

I MUST SURRENDER UP THIS FEAR, if I am going to have a shot at truly reinventing myself!

So my friends out there… what do you need to surrender up that is killing you and your spirit?

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With abundance, meditation, The Universe

Going Inward with Silent Meditation

September 2, 2011 Leave a Comment

Reinvention Day 32-36: Deep Silence

silent meditation 300x199 Going Inward with Silent MeditationI am going inward, to get underneath my thoughts. 3 days of fasting and silent meditating. I can’t tell you how important it is to do this. If you are in similar situation, please take yourself out and sit still for a long while. You will accomplish much more than what you can in the physical plane. My body is gleeful at the thought of being away from myself icon wink Going Inward with Silent Meditation See you on Monday. I will come out of being silent right into hosting a radio show. That should be very interesting, since I can’t speak correctly or well when I come out of these things. icon wink Going Inward with Silent Meditation

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With going inward, reinvention for women, silent meditation

A Turned On Interview-Nicole Daedone

September 1, 2011 Leave a Comment

nicole daedone 300x196 A Turned On Interview Nicole DaedoneReinvention Day 31: What is a TURNED ON LEADER?

Part of my reinvention journey is to explore what does it take and mean to be a turned on leader. So I grabbed my computer and went to see the Nicole Daedone at OneTaste the birth place of the Turn On Woman and so much more. We had such an amazing interview that I am still resonating from it. it will all be revealed to you I promise. She said so many awesome things … “I SERVE my Turn ON. It’s not optional, despite what everyone else advise me to do.” “a turned on woman is easy to recognize, it’s like the Bling book, You can see it, feel it right away. And she tends to be deeply beautiful that last and last.” I may not be quoting exactly. But I will post my recording on my new website next week.

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With bling, nicole daedone, one taste, reinvention, turned on leader

I’m Not Picking Up the Victim Suitcase

September 1, 2011 Leave a Comment

victim suitcase Im Not Picking Up the Victim SuitcaseReinvention Day 30: (I am little behind, catching up) Reclaiming from shame & embarrassment. I had my completion call with CTI. It was so lovely, to be sent off with love. During the call I caught a little part of me that wanted to distill this whole journey into shame and embarrassment. Like I did something wrong or not being good enough. The story of the victim wanted to spin. As they poured love onto me, I got to say to my little victim self “No, honey, there is nothing embarrassing or shaming here. It is simply time to go and you need a bigger playground.” That was freeing!

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With CTI, embarrassment, love, shame, victim

Guarding My Space

August 29, 2011 Leave a Comment

guarding my space Guarding My SpaceReinvention Day 29: Guarding my space for reinvention. I am suspicious of myself. I know I will sell myself out for the next coolest hint of offer/s that will lead to something cool but lesser than what my soul wants. So I must be on guard against my compromising self, the part of me that will blend with anyone and anything to distract myself from my REAL work = Being ME fully, speaking ME fully, doing ME fully (just to make a few (hundred or thousand) dollars)

Filed Under Mai's daily diary Tagged With compromising, distraction, guard my space, reinvention, space
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